I want to feel love in the place that I'm coming from

I'm reminded of a story: The year is 2006 and I speak with my mother on the phone. Our last long conversation. Me, after two weeks of silence, and she, two weeks before she died, but none of us knew it then.

We talked about the Middle East. I was full of energy. It was in the end of my Tourist Program , where I got an assigmant not to talk for two week. I was utterly silent and then there was this phone call. I almost forgot how my voice sounds and then I hear it coming from the depth of my belly, so strong that it got me as a surprise. I hear myself excited, telling her that I've realized there was no need to be busy with how bad the situation in the Middle East is, but instead, we should all focus on how we want it to be there, how we like it to change. "You see mom," I told her, "the Middle East can be a paradise. We have the best weather in the world, the best beaches. Israel could get all it's talent, experience and modernization and support the Palestinians and help them to create their country with good schools, developing agriculture, good hospitals, good doctors. And there will be peace. And all the money that goes now to war and weapons will be invested in developing the place. The tourism will grow enormously because all The Europeans will come. It's only 4.5 hours flight and the sun is shining almost all year round. Everyone will want to come - because it's such a beautiful place. and we have all these sacred places, and no one will be afraid of the war zone anymore - simply because there won't be any war". I spoke continuously for about 20 minutes and my mom listened and I could hear on the other side that she liked what she heard. Years of worring and seeing any way out. My vision was cristal clear. I could just see it so vividly. We didn't have to look at how wrong the situation was and how we couldn't see any solution. We could simply visualized and focus how we wanted it to be.

After that phone call I went on holidays and a week later my mom had died. It was not that unexpected since she was sick for the last four years, but it was  shocking to get the massage, to get on a plane to Israel the next day and barry her in the ground. I thought about our last phone call. We both shared this dream for peace.

The two things my mother and I had in common were our deep love to my father and our passion for Israel as a counrty. I love the land and I love the people. I love it when I walk in the streets I can get easily in conversation with everyone. I love the weather and the fact that in 3 hours drive you can visit the mountains, the desert and the beach. I love the music, I love the depth, the passion, the creativity and the fact that books are as popular there as fashion. Whenever I land in Israel I start to cry the moment the sea shore of Tel-Aviv with it's familiar buildings is being reviled. I'm thankful that I grew up there. I love the concrete of Tel-Aviv, I love every part of this city, even the ugly parts. I love the long shadows painted on the sidewalks by the afternoon sun, and how everything is so exposed by it's sharp strong light. A city that you can walk in for hours. A city that never sleeps.

I believe my mother had the same love. Her bright shiny eyes whenever she came back from her morning dip in the sea. The deep sound of relaxation as she opens the windows in the middle of a very hot day, and the fresh sea breeze had entered our house: 'What a breeze, "Amechaye", It simply gives life to the soul."

A beach in Tel-Aviv during sunset

So why I tell you all this? Well, the story with the Turkish ship, that was trying to get into Gaza and was stopped by the Israeli army, really got me. Here in Holland, like the rest of the world, everybody got mad with Israel. I thought it was stupid, the Israeli news-papers thought it was stupid. We managed to upset the whole world and for a moment I got really scared. I thought Israel is going too far. From a country that had to fight to protect itself, it became a country that war is a common way of life and people are living there in a constant stress and fight. The way I see it, fight is anger that covers fear. The jews had been suffering from fear of survival since ever. Instead of curing the fear they keep holding on to it and create more and more situations to keep this fear alive. They react to this fear and justify it all the time. "If we make peace with the Arabs, they will not respect it", is a common believe. I have not a real solution to the situation besides developing a collective awareness of how we are creating the situation ourselves and keep it alive. I don't want to sound like I really know what can be done. I think both nations (the Israelis and the Palestinians) had suffered enough. The whole are had suffered enough. Too many people had died, too much pain, too much broken hearted families. I think it's enough.

I ask myself many times what can I do to support peace in the world and in the place where I'm coming from. A place that I love so much. If I would be the prime minister of Israel I guess I would try to bring peace as a first priority. I would say: "Hey guys, there is so much more we can do if we didn't have to put all that money and energy into war. We could create prosperity, good education, well being, health, developing Art. We could bring our culture into a higher level - from fighters to lovers and from warriors to friends. What do you think guys - If we wanted, we could make it a reality, shall we"?

Dedicated to my mother, Michaela Argov (1929-2006)

Comments

[satyakrishna]

beautiful Sambodhi.......I cried the last time as I landed in India also......

I grew up reading books like Exodus & O Jerusalem and was always in awe of how much courage the Israelis had when they created their nation.......also the raid on Entebbe...........they were my heroes growing up........

you are absolutely right though, that more need to hold that vision of peace so that land can heal and be loving instead!!

[Mistana]

Yekirati, what a beautiful way of expressing our love to the land we are so much part of. I believe in peace and so do millions of Pallastinians and Israelis. My dream is that our children who put it as a firt priority will bring harmony and peace. Thank you Motek for being so sensitive and caring, Ani Ohevet Otach Meod, Mistana

[prasad]

metukona, boker tov,
its so nice and touching hearing you shearing those feelings of yours.
You know me, I am not part of the Band and I do keep saying to friends here that there is another option, but its difficult, they look at me like I am a really naive person.....my concern is my beautiful daughter and her life in the future......what would I do if,(fut fut fut)a war comes and anything happens to her or to her mum or even to me?; what will she do if or when someone will judge her for her passport in the future?
To sheare a bit of my experience, I am at the point of having decided that there is no way I will ever really meet you guys here...and I am closing off, slowly but surely, preferring to bottle up instead of looking for someone to share with that doesn't came.
I am here 6 years almost and I still have to get a phone call from someone...no people here really know the word "investing for love and friendship" forget it ....so that, after being so much hurt from the silence , that I decided to stop asking for it and I am now waiting to see what this will bring me ....so far very little but at least it helps me not waisting more energy....

thank u for this opportunity...keep doing what you know the best....
Love & Light.....
prasadush