Sambodhi

A vision for 2010

 It's already three weeks since the beginning of the new year and I'm still busy with creating a vision. I'm not sure how I would like this year to look like. This painting is from the 2nd of January. At that point I could only paint rather then write it down. It looks like an explosion.

Not too bad for a start of a vision.

Today, two weeks after the year had started, the snow is melting. It has been three weeks of snow and now it slowly disappears. It becomes muddy and slippery, reveals the ground underneath. Walt, our snow man is also melting and his scurf looks like he had gone jogging and is all sweating. Later on that evening, I'm sad to say, Walt lost his had. This morning, I found out, looking out the window, he also lost his legs.

For a moment it looks like the winter is over, but I know it's not true. My sister tells me on the phone that in Tel-Aviv it is 24 degrees. I can't imagine it even. Here the grass is ever so green and after the snow it is even greener. Strange, we some how expected it to look grey, like everything else around here. But green it is, and someone even says that we are going to have a spectacular spring. We'll see about that...

Like everybody else in Europe, I also become a bit winterly depressed. Like the rest I also don't get enough vitamin D, and like some Dutch people I go to sun studio to get some artificial light. It does improve the mood, I must say, (at list for the moment).

Some days later

Only few chunks of snow here and there, but most of the ground is revealed. I go on a bike ride with Jayesh. We go on the bike path in the dunes. Few pieces of ice and we loose our balance. It's amazing how Dutch people are doing it. You can see their bike marks on the ice. Courageous people. After being outside I have to eat a lot. I'm amazed to see how body uses so much energy in keeping itself warm. I eat so many times a day.

The days are passing by

I'm not able to write something that worth publishing. I'm a bit disappointed. I had high expectations from this blog. I thought I could publish a post every week. By now it's more then three weeks since my last post. Maybe the title of this post is too demaniding, maybe because I have not a vision yet, and this is what sits on the top of the page. As I'm sitting and writing these words it is snowing again. The last week I have been busy deep cleaning our house. It started as a communal action and I got so inspired so I did it in my office and in my private house. I found out it brought me so much energy and fun. I think my next post will be about cleaning and the art of meditation. Yes! That's it. By now I'll publish this one as it is. I admit it's not the best, but it's part of the process. Here is the song of Morcheeba, carrying this name.

Conclusion:

It is all part of the process. Deep cleaning and throwing things out help me to get in touch with myself, which helps me eventually to create a vision.

It's O.K. that this post is not perfect. The weather is changing all the time, and is also not perfect, and so am I. It is what it is.

It's snowing!!!

It's almost Christmas and it's snowing. Even for Dutch people it's special. After all, It doesn't snow here every year. 

I'm totally excited. I love the snow. I love the sound it makes when you walk on it, I love the cool air that surrounds it, the fact that it absorbs all the noises around. I find it perfect. If winter - let it be winter at it's max. I lay in bed and hear the wind and the snow falling, bit by bit, and I know that by the time I wake up in the morning it will all be snow.

 So, I take a walk

 And I look at things. I love to see what the sun makes together with the snow:

 

 
 And the lady snow that the neighbors had made:

 

And how the sea looks like:

And my feet: 

 And the Zen garden:

And the path:

I love to find the trace mark of cats and little birds feet on the snow. The same way the it absorbs the sounds, it shows who crossed where. Was it a car, a human being, big shoes or small shoes and who parked here over night and drifted off:

As I wrote before; I love the snow. Not that I want to go out for more then hour, nor do I want to be left in the fields. I'm thankful for having a warm house to hide in, which I can look out from it's windows, enjoying the beautiful sight. 

My Dutch boyfriend can say without even putting his nose out what kind of snow it is; weather it is "pak snow", that you can lift and keep in your hands, or a crispy snow like today, when the snow of yesterday is soft like a feather, covered with ice, and plays lovely reflections with the sun. Or wet snow, slippery and dangerous, like we had yesterday when we went to Alkmaar and had to watch our steps. The Eskimos have 30 different words to describe snow. My Norwegian friend tells me they also have many words for snow. 

I find it interesting how living here connects me with nature. I was born and raised in the city. Though I had the sea for a direct contact with nature and it's changes. As I grew up I learned to fall in love with concrete. Here, among the dunes of north Holland and the North Sea I acknowledge what an important part of my life takes nature. I know we are nature (what else?), and I know that surrendering to this fact makes me calmer. So I keep it as a regularity to go out. Even a walk of 30 minuted will do.